Clinton for VP, but not Hillary

I think Barack Obama should pick a Clinton for Vice President. But not Hillary, or Bill, or even Chelsea. He should pick George Clinton!



The man has tons of experience from his days in Parliament. He'll be ready on day one!

I think I'll start a petition...


UPDATE: It seems like there has been some confusion about my suggestion that Barack Obama pick George Clinton for Vice President. The George Clinton I am talking about is a famous funk musician. Here is a link to George Clinton's bio on Wikipedia: George Clinton (funk musician).

George Clinton is not related to Bill Clinton in any way. Bill's brother is named Roger, not George, and he is not a famous funk musician, although he did once have a rock band, and he likes to live a rock 'n' roll lifestyle. He is an actor and is famous for his portrayal of the character Mayor Bubba in Pumpkinhead II. Here is a link to Roger Clinton's bio on Wikipedia: Roger Clinton Jr.

Also, I am not talking about this guy:


His name is George Clinton, but he was vice president twice already, so I don't think it would be fair to have him go again without giving P-Funk George a turn. And he died in 1812, so he is almost as old as John McCain. Here is a link to Vice President George Clinton's bio on Wikipedia: George Clinton (vice president)

Buying the Amazing NatureMill

The model of NatureMill automatic composter I bought is the NatureMill PLUS. The manufacturer is NatureMill, and this is their website: http://www.naturemill.com/. NatureMill also makes the NatureMill PRO, which has a few convenience features, comes in fancy designer colors, has a longer warrantee, and costs $100 more than the NatureMill PLUS. They also make the Pet-Friendly Nature Mill, which is specifically tuned to process pet waste. The Pet-Friendly Nature Mill can also be used for kitchen waste. Like the PRO, it also costs $100 more than the NatureMill PLUS.

You can order the products straight from the manufacturer on their website. There are other online vendors as well. The manufacturer’s website lists a few brick-and-mortar retail dealers. I did not see a significant difference in price between any of these different sources --- they were all selling it for within about $5 of the manufacturer’s list price. I did see one online vendor that was exorbitantly overpriced, so obviously don’t pay more than list price!

I wanted to actually see and touch one of these things before I bought it, and I didn’t want to pay for shipping or have to wait while it shipped out, so I went to one of the retailers, Ecohome Improvement, in Berkeley. This is their website: http://www.ecohomeimprovement.com/. (Note: I don’t think they actually feature the NatureMill on their website, but they do have it in the store.) I paid $299.95 plus tax.

The salesperson I spoke to at Ecohome Improvement was knowledgeable and helpful. She owns a NatureMill PLUS and uses it at home, so she was able to share her first-hand impressions with me.

It looks like if you order the composter straight from NatureMill, you can get about 15% off each one if you buy three or more. That’s 50 bucks off of the PLUS model. It looks like you can team up with a few people to order three at one time, even if they are shipped to different places and billed to different people.

Mine came with internet coupons inside the box that allow people I refer to get $50 off the price of their NatureMill when they order online straight from NatureMill and use the coupon code. The code is CXJBL87.

If you want to order one of these things, be sure to save yourself 50 bucks and use the code. When you place the order, they will ask how you found out about NatureMill, at which point you enter my name, Eric Renger. According to info on the coupon and the website, if you use the code and reference me, I can get a free six-month supply of sawdust pellets. In order for me to claim my vast fortune in sawdust, after you place your order, I need to know your full name and your state and approximate order date. So if you know me, let me know about your order through the normal channels. If you don’t know me, but you feel grateful for having saved 50 bucks, please post a comment with the necessary info.

Whatever you do, please save yourself 50 dollars. If I can also get a six-month supply of sawdust, then it’s a win-win! Remember, Eric Renger sent you.

Disclaimer: I’m not trying to sell you a NatureMill, and I have no relationship with the NatureMill company. I don’t know enough about this thing yet to recommend it. This post and all other posts related to NatureMill, are just me rambling on about my experiences and are only for your information and amusement. (But if you decide on your own to get one, be sure to save yourself the 50 bucks and get me my sawdust.) If you are considering buying one and are not sure, then don’t do so on my recommendation at this point --- wait for the upcoming posts. I’m going to be detailing my experiences as I set up the NatureMill and use it.

The Amazing NatureMill

I recently took another step on my journey into compost madness. I bought a NatureMill automatic composter.


The NatureMill automatic composter is an in-vessel composter for household food waste that automatically turns and aerates the compost. It is insulated, so it attains high temperatures. The high temperatures, mixing, and aeration create an optimized composting environment where the decomposition is supposed to be accelerated.

The NatureMill is supposed to be able to process up to about five pounds of food waste a day, or about 120 pounds per month (which is a lot more than we generate at this house). The NatureMill is also able to process things that are not appropriate for your outside compost bin or a worm bin. It can process cooked food, meat, cheese, and bread. There is a special model that is designed to handle pet waste as well. Those kinds of items are generally not appropriate for other kinds of home composting because of nuisances like smells, pests, or pathogens.

Because of the temperatures and aeration, the decomposition is supposed to occur very rapidly, and the food waste is not supposed to have time to get smelly. It also has an activated charcoal air filter to remove any residual odors. Because it is fully self contained, it is not supposed to attract any kinds of pests --- no rodents or flies. And because of the high temperatures, it is supposed to pasteurize pathogens.

At first glance, it seems like a silly high-tech solution to a process that can occur naturally with no technology whatsoever. But the fact is that even though “compost happens,” unless you put some knowledge and effort into controlling the environment and method of composting, you can invite some problems, especially when dealing with food waste. Yard waste is generally problem free, but I wanted a problem-free way to deal with the kitchen waste.

I had decided some time ago that I mostly did not want to process food waste through the regular outdoor Biostack bin. We have had rodents around the neighborhood at different times, and I did not want to be the cause of any of those problems. I don’t think rats or mice were feeding out of my bin or nesting in there, but I didn’t want to create any possibility of that happening. If you have been reading the blog, you know I did feed Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile a lot of food waste, but that was mostly for demonstration purposes. And whenever I did put food waste in the outdoor bin, I buried it deep and made sure to check it and aerate it frequently until it was completely decomposed. That can be a bit of a hassle.

I also have a worm bin that works for composting food waste. But the worm bin has its own set of hassles too. When everything is working perfectly, it can handle a maximum of about a half pound of food waste per day, but I was never able to get mine to actually accept that much. So it really didn’t process much waste. And when I did “overfeed” it, it tended to get fruit flies. Personally, I can deal with fruit flies and worms, but it’s not something most people would be interested in messing with.

If the NatureMill works as described, most of those problems should go away. I’ll be able to just open the lid of the NatureMill and dump in all the kitchen scraps, without having to pick through and pull out inappropriate ingredients the way I used to do with the worm bin. I’ll be able to put it all in, up to five pounds a day, without worrying whether I have “overfed” it the way I used to do with the worm bin. And because it is less of a hassle, and it sits right in the garage, outside the kitchen door, I’m more likely to actually take the food waste out instead of letting it “pre-compost” on the kitchen counter, a practice that Kathy never really seemed to appreciate very much. In fact, Kathy might actually take out the kitchen waste herself, which is not something she liked to do when it had to be buried in the Biostack or fed to the worms.

I think the NatureMill is going to be a bit like the gas barbeque I got a few years ago to replace the beloved charcoal Weber Kettle. I loved the old Weber and the authenticity of cooking over real burning charcoal, with real wood smoke, and real fire. But there were some inconveniences to it, and when I finally got the gas grill, I loved it too. I loved being able to turn the knob, hit a button and then just grill, rather than having to start a fire a half hour beforehand. I loved being able to adjust the temperature with a knob. I loved being able to cook something for over an hour without having to add more charcoal. A gas grill brings a lot of unnecessary technology to grilling for the sake of convenience, and I think the NatureMill is basically the same concept. I’m definitely going to keep the Biostack for yard waste, and I’ll probably keep the worm bin for the sake of harvesting worm castings. But, assuming everything works as described, I think I’m going to like the NatureMill for the convenience.

I’ll post more information about my experiences with the amazing NatureMill. Until then, for more info, you can check out the NatureMill website: http://www.naturemill.com/.

Diary of a Compost Pile - May 22

Here is the latest in the ongoing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. I am sorry for the long break, and I hope it did not disrupt the "narrative thread" too much. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

I know it’s been awhile, but I’m back --- it’s me, Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile. The last time I wrote, I was nearly out of my bin with excitement. After that amazing tumble and all the great food scraps, I got up to about 100 degrees the next day, and quickly climbed up to about 130. I held that for a long time. I was still at 130 on the day of the garden tour, nearly a week after the turning. I never got back up into those stratospheric high temps of my wild youth, but I was certainly able to hold my own.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve had a few more good turns, and I’ve had a few more additions of choice greens. One time it was a big bucket of food scraps, another time a bag full of Starbucks coffee grounds, and one time it was a bunch of fresh, green plants pulled from the garden --- Eric planted a load of California poppies for the tour and had to thin them as they got too big. That’s always the best --- fresh, green, succulent growth, buried deep in the pile. I can digest that kind of stuff in just a couple of days.

I don’t think I’ll ever get as hot as I used to, and I’m OK with that. Right now I’m just hovering around 80 degrees --- just about ambient temperature outside.



I’ve still got plenty of identifiable twigs and woody prunings. So I’m not what you would call “mature” pile yet, but I am getting there. Sometimes I look back at the way I was in the past, and I can’t believe how I behaved, the wild swings and ravenous appetites --- I am definitely maturing.

But now that I don’t get as fired up as I used to, I can start new hobbies, like collecting worms and other compost pile invertebrates. Maybe I’ll get a few roly-poly bugs to keep as pets. I wouldn’t mind a few more loads of coffee grounds to fill out the bin a bit. I’m definitely down a full third from where I started.



And maybe with a bit more greens I’d get a nice boost of temperature to remind me of the crazy old days. I might get up somewhere around 120 or so if I had a good turning and a good load of coffee. I’d like to finish off some of the coarser unfinished material I’ve still got before I get sifted and put out to pasture (or out to veggie garden, as the case may be).

-- FR

Bay-Friendly Garden Tour and Master Composter Graduation

Wow, it’s been some time since I posted anything to the blog! This blog business is tricky because the times when you have the most interesting things to say are also usually when you have no time to post. I’ve been really busy lately hosting the Bay-Friendly garden tour and wrapping up my Master Composter training.

The Bay-Friendly Garden Tour went very well and was a lot of fun. According to the official count, we had 316 visitors to our garden. There were several thousand visitors on the whole tour.

It turned out to be one of the hottest days of the year so far, getting up toward 100. Fortunately, I had people making sure that I took a break from yammering at visitors now and then so I could have a drink of water and something to eat. Otherwise, left to my own devices, I probably would have passed out.

I think garden tours generally have a reputation for being sort of hoity-toity affairs, but the Bay-Friendly Garden Tour is designed to be very accessible and to give people real, practical examples of how to reduce garden waste, cut down on the use of chemicals, decrease runoff, conserve water, build healthy soil, provide habitat, and save energy. I've been interested in these things for some time, and it was great to be able to share my experiences with people. Almost everyone who came was looking for ideas to take home and try on their own.

I think the garden looked pretty nice for the tour. I did a lot of work to get everything cleaned up, and I think it paid off nicely. Here are a few pictures:

The place cleans up OK.

Everyone asked what the big red plant is. It is Jupiter’s Beard, sometimes called Red Valerian, botanical name centranthus ruber. It’s beautiful, but I had to warn everyone that it makes millions of little parachute seeds, and volunteers come up all over the place. A significant part of my weeding involves pulling up volunteer Jupiter’s Beard.

I never plant California poppies anymore because they reseed like mad, but I scattered some seeds this spring to fill in some empty spots, and they really looked nice for the tour, providing some nice spots of orange color.

The tour organizers gave us signs to highlight specific Bay-Friendly practices. This garden bed is on drip irrigation with each plant receiving water tailored to its exact needs --- some get none at all, some get a deep watering once a week, some get light water 2 times a week and some get heavy water two times a week, but nobody gets more than they need. So this area highlights how irrigation techniques can save water.

Here are the reliable old succulents.

And more succulents.

The azalea decided to cooperate and bloom the week of the tour.

The clivia cooperated as well.

Awwwww … what a lovely vignette.

Kathy and I yammering at guests in the vegetable garden.

In addition to prepping for and hosting the tour, I also finished my Master Composter class. I successfully graduated and am now a Master Composter.

This is the Master Composter Class of 2008, posing with our instructors.

I shared the honor of being the class Vermadictorian with another student. Here we are posing with Wriggly.

I’m sure many of you are wondering what ever happened to Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile. As I mentioned I was just a bit too busy for the blog for awhile, but, to be honest, I also felt maybe that pile had gotten a bit out of hand. Don’t get me wrong, she was no problem as a compost pile and was doing a great job of making compost. But Myrtle seemed to me to be having wild unpredictable mood swings, and I was never really sure what she might end up posting. If I had thought she was able to leave the bin, I probably would have sought a restraining order, because she seemed to have an unnatural obsession with me. Kinda freaky. It seems like she has matured a bit, and maybe it’s time to hear from her again. I’ll see if she has anything to say.

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 21

Here is another in the ongoing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Oh, Diary!

You will not believe what just happened! Eric got back from his weekend away and he couldn’t keep his gloves off me! My God, it was amazing! Excuse me for being explicit, but he turned me top to bottom and totally forked my browns out! I tell you, it’s not the size of the garden fork, it’s how you use it, and now I know why they call him the Master Composter!

He really took his time with it too, lingering over every decomposing morsel in my steaming heap. Almost everything was decomposing nicely, just the way you want. Some of my straw had matted down a bit, so he gave that some special attention with the fork. So nice! And some of my more exotic ingredients, like the cardboard, had barely begun to decompose at all, so he tore those into smaller pieces. Oh, yeah, he did! All of the food scraps had completely disappeared, along with all the Roscoe poop. Everything smelled nice and earthy, just the way it should, with no stinky parts (except for a few of the straw mats, which he was polite enough not to mention).

He really knows what I like. He brought me that dead bouquet of wilted flowers I wanted.

He fed me a bucket of kitchen waste.

He added some miscellaneous yard trimmings, threw in a few more shovels of chicken manure, and made sure I was moist as a wrung-out sponge.

The whole time he was rolling me around the bin, he was singing a special song he had written just for me. It’s an adaptation of Bob Marley’s “Stir it up,” as sung to a compost pile. It made me feel so special.

Stir it Up, Compost Pile

Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!

It's been a long, long time,
Since I built you in my bin;
And now that I stand near, I smell it all so clear,
There's some turnin’ we should do, pile, me and you.

Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!

I will push the fork, and I’ll stoke your fire,
And then I'll satisfy your steamin’ heart's desire;
I will turn your food scraps, top to bottom;
All you got to do, pile, is to rot ‘em!

Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!

I will quench you, pile, when you’re thirsty;
Heat you up, till you are hot;
Your humus, pile, is so tasty,
When your greens and browns all rot!

Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!

This was really a turning point for me. My temperature had dropped to about 100 degrees.

After all the turning, my temperature dropped to only about 63 degrees.

But with all my new greens and oxygen, by tomorrow I will be a seething volcano of hotness again!

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 18

Today I bring you another in the continuing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

It’s me, Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile … not that anyone cares.

I’m here losing my hotness by degrees and shrinking more and more every day, longing for any small display of kindness, perhaps a dead bouquet of wilted flowers or an old banana peel, anything ... and then I find out HE IS GOING AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND! I may be stuck here decomposing in the far end of the backyard, but NOBODY puts Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile in a corner!

I don’t want to cause a stink, but I could easily hold my breath for three days, deprive myself of oxygen, and go completely anaerobic! Let’s see how he likes that! Come back from his little getaway to find me smelling like a three-day-old rabbit turd omelet!

I know it would be a rotten thing to do, and I am too well balanced to ever get that funky, even if I wanted to, but I WON’T just be IGNORED!!!!

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 17

Here is another in the continuing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

You know who it is.

I'm a little freaked out right now. I think I might be losing my hotness. My temperature today was only about 143.


I know 143 is still pretty hot, but I used to be 145! And I'm only less than a week old! How can this be happening? And I honestly think I'm beginning to shrink! I used to really fill out a bin, but look at me now. Does this bin make me look short?


Maybe I need to get some work done. I wouldn't mind being turned once in a while. But Eric doesn't even really come around at all anymore. Last night he left my lid off. What's that about? I mean, I don't want to be high maintenance, but I'm not a "no fuss" pile either!

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 16

Today's post is another in the continuing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

It's FR again.

Well, I seem to have reached the limits of my hotness. My temp today was about the same 145 degrees as yesterday.


I'm still pretty freakin' hot, but I always dreamed I would be more than this. Can this really be all there is? I'm wondering too if I've started to sag a little bit. After Eric topped me off on the 13th, I filled the bin to just a couple inches from the top, and now I must be at least 6 inches down from the top. What is happening to me?

Eric barely paid any attention to me at all --- just came in to check the thermometer and left.

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 15

I am running another in the continuing series of diary entries by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

Yes, it's me again, Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile.

I am officially a hot, hot pile! My internal temperature this morning was 145 degrees! Not only am I decomposing the greens and browns I was fed when I was made, but I am cooking any pathogens and weed seeds that are in my hot, steaming middle!


I could tell Eric just wanted to tear into me. He wants to know what is going on inside --- what makes me rot. But I gave him that steamy look that only a hot pile can give --- the one that says, “Look all you want, but I’m too hot for you!”

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 14

Today I'm featuring another diary entry by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

It's me, Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile.

Is it hot in here, or is it just me? My temperature this morning was about 130 degrees! About 5 degrees more and I will be hot enough to pasteurize pathogens and kill weed seeds!


Master Eric pretty much left me alone today --- just peeked at my thermometer and went about his business. I think this is a good sign. For now, I’d just like to be alone and build up my temperature.

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 13

Here is another diary entry by guest author Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile, the compost pile built during my Basic Compost Workshop. --- Eric

Dear Diary,

It's me, Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile.

The workshop participants left me in the care of Master Eric. Technically he is still a Master Composter in training, and that means he is still in his nerdy, enthusiastic stage --- I hope he doesn’t get to be too over-solicitous and fussy! I mean, compost happens, and I’m going to do all the work, so there is no need to keep fiddling with me. I suppose it’s nice to have a little attention now and then, but let’s not get obsessive.

For example, the first thing this morning, I saw Master Eric coming at me with a two-foot-long thermometer, and all I could think was, “That thing doesn’t look oral!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Sure enough, no conversation, no kitchen scraps, no water, just BAM, and there I am with a huge thermometer sticking out of my heap.

A little abrupt, but the truth is that I am warming up to this guy. I was nearly 100 degrees after less than one day! I was actually almost exactly 98.6 degrees --- I felt almost human.


After checking my temperature, Master Eric began fussing around with me. He decided maybe I wasn’t quite as damp as a wrung-out sponge, so he sprinkled some water on me. It’s common for new piles like me that have a lot of dry brown material not to absorb the water sprayed on us when we are first built, especially if we are built in a hurry. We absorb it better after we have sat for awhile.

He also decided to add in the other 15 gallons of medium-sized, unfinished compost material he had sifted out of my predecessor pile, and cap me off with some more leaves he raked up around the garden. That is all brown material, so to balance me out he added a good amount of bagged chicken manure that he had got from the store a while back. Man, I hope I don’t start to stink! I already had a load of Roscoe droppings, and now all this chicken poop too? I don’t know how much more of this shit I can take.

Frankly, with all the disturbance, I sort of lost my decomposure. The whole experience left me a bit cold --- my temperature dropped back to about 80 degrees.

-- FR

Diary of a Compost Pile - April 12

Today I am welcoming a guest author to the blog. I am posting diary entries written by the compost pile built by the participants in my Basic Compost Workshop. Some of these are a few days late, but we'll soon catch up to "real time." It's all yours pile! --- Eric



Dear Diary,

My name is Fertilemyrtle Rottenpile. I am a compost pile, and this is my story…

I was created today by a group of Basic Compost Workshop participants under the instruction of Master Composter Eric Renger.



They built me using the hot-pile or “batch” method, assembling me all at once of alternating layers of browns, water, greens, and air. I feel nicely balanced --- about equal parts greens and browns, damp as a wrung-out sponge.

I contain all kinds of interesting ingredients. My browns are mostly leaves and chipped woody prunings from around the yard and about 15 gallons of large, unfinished compost material sifted out of my predecessor pile, but I also have a little bit of straw, some cardboard, some newspaper, and a few paper napkins. My greens are mostly shredded leafy material from around the yard, but I also have a generous load of vegetable trimmings, about 10 pounds of Starbucks coffee grounds, and a pile of poop from Roscoe the rabbit. I am a very diverse pile!

It’s great to be here, and I hope to get rot down to business. I feel I am going to be a very hot pile! I am very grateful to the workshop participants for building me so nicely, and I’m sure I will be a pile that they can be proud of --- nicely decomposed, and not a bit smelly.

-- FR

Basic Compost Workshop

Sorry I haven't posted anything in such a long time, but I have been very busy preparing the house and garden for the upcoming Bay-Friendly Garden Tour and for my Basic Compost Workshop that I conducted at the house on Saturday, April 12th.

All Master Composters are required to do some kind of outreach project to teach at least 10 people how to compost. I decided to do a workshop on Basic Composting (as opposed to Worm Composting), and I invited friends and family.

I present the workshop. (If you look closely, you can see that my eyes are closed. I was like that the whole way through.)

It was s lot more work getting this workshop ready than I would have expected. I wanted to do a hands-on workshop in which we actually build a pile, so I needed to empty my own full-to-the-top compost bin. In preparation, I sifted the whole cubic yard of compost twice, so that I could show the participants finished compost (material that passes through the 1/4-inch screen), unfinished compost that could be used for mulch (material that passes through the 1/2-inch screen but gets caught in the 1/4-inch screen), and bulky unfinished compost that needs to go back into the pile (material that gets caught in the 1/2-inch screen). That's a lot of sifting.

I point out some of the sifted material.

I also wanted to have enough ingredients ready so that the participants could build a whole cubic yard pile. So, for "browns," I gathered about 20 gallons of leaves and dry brown material from around the yard. And for "greens," I ran about another 20 gallons of moist green material from the yard through my shredder. I already had the 15 gallons of bulky unfinished compost I had sifted out that needed to go back into the new pile, and about 15 gallons of the finer mulch-like material that I could put back in. I also wanted some more exotic materials to show, so I gathered some straw from a feed store, got about 10 pounds of Starbucks coffee grounds, arranged for a gallon of rabbit poop, bought a bag of chicken poop, and saved up about 2-3 gallons of kitchen vegetable scraps. That's a lot of materials.

I prepared samples of amended and unamended soil from the yard, samples of compost from my system and from different commercial sources, and samples of my own mulch and commercial mulch. That's a lot of samples.

Some of us smell the various soil samples while family members appear to mock us for sticking our noses in the compost. It actually smells really good!

The presentation itself took a long time to prepare. I think I actually covered a lot more than what is required for the Master Composter outreach project, but I've seen a few of the really good workshops that the paid employees of the Stopwaste.org organization present to the public, and I wanted to do one that was at least as thorough as those are. I adapted one of their outlines, and I made my own visual aids. It took a few days to put the whole talk together and it runs about 2 hours long. That's a lot of talking.

I think it worked out pretty well. With questions and delays, the presentation went a bit longer than I expected, but people seemed to enjoy most of it, especially the hands-on parts. They all asked a lot of good questions, and I think they all learned something. I had a lot of fun with it. Because it was all friends and family, and we were having it here at the house, we had a barbeque afterwards, which is always a good time.

I demostrate construction of the Biostack composter.

One of the participants adds material to the pile while I appear to kick him in the behind.

One of the participants adds water to the pile.

I add a load of rabbit poop to the pile.

The compost pile we built is doing well. It has heated up nicely and is really starting to cook. I'm sending out e-mail notices to the participants so they can see how their excellent pile is doing. And I will now be welcoming a guest author to this blog --- the pile will be posting periodic diary entries.

Mulch

I ordered 2 cubic yards of black mini-mulch delivered to my driveway from a building supply place. They told me it would come between 9am and 11am. The guy was ringing my doorbell before 8am. I told him it was mulch too early.

I spent the whole day spreading mulch of it around my yard, but there is still so mulch piled in front of my house --- I think I ordered too mulch. Next time I'll know how mulch to buy, and I won't get so mulch.

One good way to figure out how mulch to get is to measure the length and the width of the yard and then decide how deep you want it to be. Then use your mulchification tables.

Man Gets Shot to Avoid Work

Apparently this guy got his frined to shoot him so he didn't have to go in to work.

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20080301/D8V4D90O0.html

Police: Man Gets Shot to Avoid Work
Feb 29, 10:56 PM (ET)

PASCO, Wash. (AP) -
What happened to faking a cough? Sheriff's detectives in Franklin County said a man had his friend shoot him in the shoulder so he wouldn't have to go to work.

When he first spoke with deputies, Daniel Kuch, of Pasco, told them he'd been the victim of a drive-by shooting while he was out jogging Thursday. But detectives told KONA radio that Kuch later acknowledged that he asked his friend to shoot him so he could get some time off work and avoid an upcoming drug test.

The friend, Kurtis Johnson, of Burbank, has been arrested for investigation of reckless endangerment. Kuch was booked into the county jail and is expected to be charged with false reporting.

Detectives declined to say where Kuch works, or whether he still has a job. It wasn't known if he had obtained a lawyer.

This dumbass has to be disappointed that he didn't get a Darwin Award out of this. With better aim, his "friend" could have killed him outright or at least shot his balls off so we could keep the gene pool clear of his stupidity mutation.

Honestly though, your job has to be pretty crappy if you'd rather be shot than go in to work. And if it is that crappy, who cares if you lose your job over a drug test? I guess I'm just going to make myself crazy if I keep trying to find any logic in this.

Kinds of Worms

Apparently there are millions of kinds of worms. Of those millions of species, about 7000 species are earthworms. And of those, only a few species of earthworms are composting worms that are good for vermicompost. Here’s some info about the various kinds of worms.

Eisenia fetida


These are the best worms for vermicompost. They are often referred to as red wigglers, redworms, brandling worms, or tiger worms. They don’t actually live in soil the way most other earthworms do. They live on the surface of the soil under layers of decaying organic matter. They can consume huge amounts of organic matter, they do not require soil, and they can tolerate some disturbance, which is what makes them ideal for composting. These kinds of worms that live on the surface of the soil are called epigeic.

Aporrectodea caliginosa


These are common earthworms. They live in shallow lateral burrows in the soil that run parallel to the surface. They are not suitable for composting because they must live in the soil and must eat mineral soil, but they are good for gardens because they help aerate the soil and bring organic nutrients into the soil. These kinds of worms that live in shallow lateral burrows in the soil are called endogeic.

Lumbricus terrestris


These are the amazing Nightcrawlers. They live in deep burrows in the soil. They come up to the surface at night to drag decaying organic matter down into their burrows. They are not suitable for composting because they must live in deep soil, and they dislike disturbance, but they are good for gardens because they bring organic matter deep into the soil and provide aeration and drainage. These kinds of worms that live in deep burrows in the soil are called anecic.

Space Slug


These worms live on asteroids in a galaxy far, far away. They eat mostly spaceships. The photo shows the Millennium Falcon spaceship barely escaping a space slug. They are not suitable for composting, except when the compostable material consists primarily of spaceships. These kinds of worms that live in asteroids are called fictional.

Sandworm



These worms are native to the planet Arrakis. They are about a mile long with a mouth 100 yards wide, and they favor dry, desert-like conditions. They are not suitable for composting because of their large size, and the fact that they do not survive on our planet, but they do make an excellent form of transportation. These kinds of worms that live on distant planets are called fantasy.

What do Worms Think About?

In my Master Composter class, I've been learning about vermicomposting, which is the practice of using worms to compost kitchen scraps. Certain kinds of earthworms can live in a small bin and can eat half their weight in kitchen scraps a day. A pound of worms can eat up to a half pound of kitchen waste each day. They produce a very rich, nutrient-packed compost that is great for plants.

These are the kinds of worms that would ordinarily be found in nature living under piles of cow poop, or in deep layers of fallen leaves --- they need a very rich organic environment. They live for about one year in the wild, or maybe as many as four years in a bin. They have both male and female sex organs, so they can reproduce sexually or asexually. And according to one of my class instructors, they have a brain.

A brain! So what do worms think about? My guess is that that they are fairly introspective and spend a lot of time in self-examination --- worms are their own harshest critics.

"Man, I am pathetic! I'm nearly a year old, and I'm still living in the same bin where I hatched! I'm going nowhere! I've got to get out of this place. Just look at me. I eat nothing but garbage and spend most of my time reproducing asexually. There's got to be more to life than this!"

I feel like reassuring him, "Awwwwww, little worm! You do very important work! You process half your own weight in kitchen waste each day, keeping it out of the landfill and turning something worthless into valuable fertilizer for plants! You help to save our natural resources. And you should be happy with your bin! If you were in the wild, you would probably be living in a cow pie, eating crap for lunch instead of nice delicious banana peals and gourmet coffee grounds. And don't be in such a rush, worm! They say the early bird gets the worm, so what's the point in being the early worm? And, yeah, you do spend a lot of time reproducing asexually, but you've got both sets of sexual organs, so why the hell not? You're being too hard on yourself, worm!"

I hope he feels better about himself.

What Separates Us from the Animals

Some say that what separates us from the animals is our huge noggins stuffed full of brains.

Others say it is our opposable thumbs, which allow us to text message on cell phones, that sets us apart.

And there are those who say the difference is that we walk upright, which makes our opposable-thumb-equipped front paws available to hold those cell phones up to our big, fat, brainy heads while we tap dance down the street.

I say the difference mostly comes down to slurping versus lapping. Put a saucer of water in front of any beast, and it will lap it up with its tongue. Lap, lap, lap, lap. But put the same saucer in front of a human being, and (if you don't allow the use of opposable thumbs to just pick it up and drink it) the human will pucker its lips together and slurp. Sluuuuuuurp. Have you ever seen a cat or dog slurp?

Master Composter

I'm taking a class to become a "Master Composter."

I quit my job some time ago and have been out of work for a while, so now when people ask me what I am doing, I say, "I'm working on my Master's."

"What? Are you getting an MBA or something?"

"No, I'm getting an MC --- Master Composter!"

Some people find this amusing and interesting, while others think I should apply myself more diligently to finding a job, but those people do not understand the importance of what I am doing.

A Master Composter not only becomes an expert in making compost, but also masters the art of teaching others how to compost. A Master Composter is something like the Yoda of compost. He is a powerful Jedi of compost, but he also teaches his apprentice to compost as well.

"Master, how shall I turn this pile of compost?"

"The fork must you use."

Pictures of the Moon I took through My Telescope

Here are some pictures of the moon I took through my telescope using my digital camera.







The telescope uses different interchangeable eyepieces that give different magnifications. I bought an adapter that allowed me to attach my digital camera (just a regular Nikon Coolpix) onto an eyepiece. With something like the moon, you can use the camera's zoom to get the image framed the way you want, and then get things focused as well as you can with the telescope's focuser, and then the camera's auto-focus will automatically do the last bit of focusing.

There are a lot of different ways to take pictures through a telescope. Some of them use very specialized equipment. Some people use the digital camera method like I did. And then there are some systems that are based on web cams, and you use a laptop to capture and process the images.

The moon is a very easy thing to image, because it is very bright, so it does not take a long exposure. And it is big and has easily visible features, so it gives your camera something to auto-focus on. Star clusters and distant deep-sky objects are harder because they take very long exposures, and you have to have a system for tracking them very precisely as they move across the sky. For planets, people get good results with web cams and using a process called "stacking" that uses software to "stack" a lot of short exposure images into one single image to build up the details.