Oh, Diary!
You will not believe what just happened! Eric got back from his weekend away and he couldn’t keep his gloves off me! My God, it was amazing! Excuse me for being explicit, but he turned me top to bottom and totally forked my browns out! I tell you, it’s not the size of the garden fork, it’s how you use it, and now I know why they call him the Master Composter!
He really took his time with it too, lingering over every decomposing morsel in my steaming heap. Almost everything was decomposing nicely, just the way you want. Some of my straw had matted down a bit, so he gave that some special attention with the fork. So nice! And some of my more exotic ingredients, like the cardboard, had barely begun to decompose at all, so he tore those into smaller pieces. Oh, yeah, he did! All of the food scraps had completely disappeared, along with all the Roscoe poop. Everything smelled nice and earthy, just the way it should, with no stinky parts (except for a few of the straw mats, which he was polite enough not to mention).
He really knows what I like. He brought me that dead bouquet of wilted flowers I wanted.
You will not believe what just happened! Eric got back from his weekend away and he couldn’t keep his gloves off me! My God, it was amazing! Excuse me for being explicit, but he turned me top to bottom and totally forked my browns out! I tell you, it’s not the size of the garden fork, it’s how you use it, and now I know why they call him the Master Composter!
He really took his time with it too, lingering over every decomposing morsel in my steaming heap. Almost everything was decomposing nicely, just the way you want. Some of my straw had matted down a bit, so he gave that some special attention with the fork. So nice! And some of my more exotic ingredients, like the cardboard, had barely begun to decompose at all, so he tore those into smaller pieces. Oh, yeah, he did! All of the food scraps had completely disappeared, along with all the Roscoe poop. Everything smelled nice and earthy, just the way it should, with no stinky parts (except for a few of the straw mats, which he was polite enough not to mention).
He really knows what I like. He brought me that dead bouquet of wilted flowers I wanted.
He fed me a bucket of kitchen waste.
He added some miscellaneous yard trimmings, threw in a few more shovels of chicken manure, and made sure I was moist as a wrung-out sponge.
The whole time he was rolling me around the bin, he was singing a special song he had written just for me. It’s an adaptation of Bob Marley’s “Stir it up,” as sung to a compost pile. It made me feel so special.
The whole time he was rolling me around the bin, he was singing a special song he had written just for me. It’s an adaptation of Bob Marley’s “Stir it up,” as sung to a compost pile. It made me feel so special.
Stir it Up, Compost Pile
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
It's been a long, long time,
Since I built you in my bin;
And now that I stand near, I smell it all so clear,
There's some turnin’ we should do, pile, me and you.
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
I will push the fork, and I’ll stoke your fire,
And then I'll satisfy your steamin’ heart's desire;
I will turn your food scraps, top to bottom;
All you got to do, pile, is to rot ‘em!
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
I will quench you, pile, when you’re thirsty;
Heat you up, till you are hot;
Your humus, pile, is so tasty,
When your greens and browns all rot!
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
It's been a long, long time,
Since I built you in my bin;
And now that I stand near, I smell it all so clear,
There's some turnin’ we should do, pile, me and you.
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
I will push the fork, and I’ll stoke your fire,
And then I'll satisfy your steamin’ heart's desire;
I will turn your food scraps, top to bottom;
All you got to do, pile, is to rot ‘em!
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
I will quench you, pile, when you’re thirsty;
Heat you up, till you are hot;
Your humus, pile, is so tasty,
When your greens and browns all rot!
Stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Come on, pile!
Come on and stir it up — Compost pile!
Stir it up — Oh, pile!
This was really a turning point for me. My temperature had dropped to about 100 degrees.
After all the turning, my temperature dropped to only about 63 degrees.
But with all my new greens and oxygen, by tomorrow I will be a seething volcano of hotness again!
-- FR
2 comments:
I can help!
it's been a long winter this year.The snow has melted off the lawn. The sun has shined for about two days. I think it got to 50 Deg. before it snowed again today. Now to the point. I have about 150 Lbs of winter preserved Dog Shit that I will gladly send to you. It Could be the secret seasoning that will make your compost cocktail the best. let me know how you want it shipped
Ha ha! That is a very kind offer, but I think maybe your 150 pounds of frozen dog crap should composted in place! If I change my mind, I'll be sure to let you know.
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